Who Keeps Calling Me?

I will never find out unless I answer the phone. But it is a number I do not know. And the fool won't leave a message to reveal themselves. I refuse to answer to someone so mysterious. But it turns my brain just thinking of them.

Just Found An Article A Friend Posted

Just found an article a friend posted... about a man who lives in a cave near the town of Moab. He lives with no money. Sometimes I worry about $. I compare myself to others that make way more and have houses and cars. I like the idea of living in nature. Making your own food feels different from the food you get served up to you at the diner.

Living in New York City for me is fun. I meet so many people but I can't recall any but a few right now. I was reading the blog of the guy who lives in the desert. It seems that he recalls so much. I wonder if I am moving too fast and missing the life around me.

I wonder sometimes if I am moving too slow. It seems I should have a career as I have been out of college for some years now. And I think about the man in that cave, how he uses his abilities, his wisdom, his knowledge of everything to live and be happy. In thinking of him you may see the formula to good living.

I would be frightened of all the bugs in a cave. Similarly I am frightened by the cockroaches, mice, and rats that roam in this town. They don't make me scream but I notice them and I disapprove of their existence. They make me squeamish. When I don't think of them I am thinking about the bills. When I am not thinking of the bills I am thinking of my long to-do list. Money worries me. I'll admit that to you right now.

Money in it's physical form reminds me of the way I felt when I accrued tickets at Chuckie Cheese as a kid. The amount of tickets implied which prizes I could get at the prize counter. The way I feel now is not a far departure.

Even though a recent Rolling Stones article provided some great analogies of how the Sachs crisis unfolded, I am still scratching my head about numbers.

Even when I took that one required economics course in college I never got the 101 on what money really is. That is because it is a philosophical question, one which I have not even begun to ask myself. Sometimes I ask others about their finances and often I hear the same thing, that there is never enough. Or that there are bills to pay. Or in the case of my current workplace we all like to spend on clothing.

Clothing is the fastest way to express yourself for real cheap. No one asks any questions when you walk by with your colors and your Marc Jacobs bag. Perhaps a few heads turn, some young women may suddenly sense the desire to shop for something new. A lot of people just keep walking by. But here you may have the chance to be in the background of a photo that appears in a magazine. What if your flats just clash with your top? Or whatever you're wearing. What are you wearing?

We're always wearing something or nothing.

A New Dance

You twist your head far to the left
Stick your arms out straight in front of you
Leave your hands limp and your arms stiff
Shake your hands
Stomp your feet
Repeat
Only now put your head in the middle
Repeat
Now twist your head to the right
Repeat
Repeat
Repeat